In this society we have completely demonized fat. How many times have you had to tell a friend of yours that she isn’t fat? How many times has she had to tell you the same thing? Obviously, when people have unrealistic perceptions of themselves it should not go unnoticed, but in this act, while we are reassuring our friends, we put down every woman who is overweight. The demonization of fat and the ease of associating black women with fat exposes yet another opportunity for racism. If we really want to start talking more honestly about all women’s relationships with our bodies, we need to start asking the right questions.
average size women claim fat spaces for themselves - endless praise
death fats try and speak about their oppressions - health concern trolling from average size women & friends
Fat people’s recognition of ourselves as whole people, rather than slim people gone wrong, is not against you it is for fat people.
That is only a threat if you’ve come to base any of your sense of self worth on us being seen as inherently corrupt with you being the opposite of that.
Its the creation of an alternative fiction that is supposed to replace reality.
When the authorities insist, if you exercise and eat a balanced diet you’ll be slim. That is wishful thinking. It is a fiction they claim to be true. It makes things neat, simple and wrong.
It requires the belief that slim people eat certain kinds of things and not others. And that fat people eat other kinds of things that slim people do not eat.
And slim people are active, fat people inactive.
If anyone wants to eat what for them is a balanced diet, all well and good. They may remain the same, lose weight they may even become slim. But it is also true that eating a diet made of of overly processed foods, can also co-exist with becoming fatter, thinner or neither.
Certainly, not being particularly active doesn’t necessarily make you fat/ter or stop you from becoming slimmer, nor does activity necessarily lessen your weight.
We have all participated in this experiment, especially fat people. We’ve tested whether years or even a lifetime of calorie restriction and increased expenditure will make you slim.
This is the result. The so called ‘obesity’ crisis fat haters are whining about.
Anyone denying that, is engaging in delusion. That’s asserting fantasy in the face of reality, that’s what its called.
[Image: A photo of a pair of light skinned legs crossed with a foot wearing a sandal on a beach landscape with the text: “Me-Sponsible. Me-Sponsible: The act of being responsible to me, for the benefit of my health, happiness, and well being. Redefining body image.’]
My interpretation of being me-sponsible involves soaking rays into my skin, letting my fat thighs breathe on the beach, and acknowledging beauty in everything - including myself.
(if anyone knows the true source of this quote, please let me know, as I was unable to find an author)
reblawgin’ cause i posted this super fucken early this morning
[Image: Two pictures, one from behind and one from the front of a beautiful fat person with very light skin wearing a black bikini, on a beach, holding a blue and black boogie board under one arm, the other hand on their hip.]
i did it yall! i wore a bikini to a crowded beach! i am very very proud of myself
p.s. i look a little rough because i had just boogie boarded my ass off lol
Somebody just tried to tell me that a woman like Gabourey Sidibe isnt’ a “threat” to whiteness. That women like Michelle Obama and Gabrielle Union and the like are the only ones who can “truly” change the face of black women in the media.
[gif removed. was picture of man of color with bright white hair in a black and white gif looking unamused.]
Get the fuck out of here with that sizist bullshit.
Fat black women exist, bitch. WE EXIST. We have every right to be on this fucking planet, and we have EVERY capability that skinny black women have. Don’t you fucking dare push us off to the side because we ain’t “the right kind of black woman.” Do you fucking realize who ends up bearing the brunt of black women’s stereotypes?? Welfare queen? Mammy? The butt of the jokes for sexuality?
FAT BLACK WOMEN. But y’all want to discredit us because of white supremacy’s penchant for denigrating us in the fucking media??????
No. FUCK. THAT. SHIT. Y’all skinny motherfuckers better get right.
[gif removed. Was gif of comedian Kevin Hart, a black man with a bald head, holding a microphone and speaking angrily. The caption read: “You gone learn today”]
Last weekend, MetroFats held a very successful skills share around body-shaming during holiday visits with family. We discussed the following questions:
- What about holiday gatherings is hard for you? Is it just about body size, or is there other stuff too? What kinds of thoughts and feelings do the holidays provoke?
- How do we cope with body-shaming in the moment?
- How do we evaluate whether to set boundaries around body-shaming with family members?
- What can we do to take care of ourselves before and after a stressful event where implicit or explicit body-shaming is likely to occur?
Here are some ideas that we came up with:
- An excellent place to start is the Spending the Holidays With Your Family Fatcast by the marvelous Lesley Kinzel and Marianne Kirby. Lesley and Marianne suggest having a buddy to vent to via text message (or venting on Twitter), taking some time to hide in the bathroom when things get to be too much, and deploying the abrupt subject change (i.e. “Have you gained/lost weight?” “Nope. How’s your cat?”)
- Get some perspective: your family is doing their best, even if their best is terrible. Karen recommends this essay by Anne Lamott.
- Eat often! A glucose-depleted brain is a brain that has a hard time coping, and if you’re eating often you don’t really need to worry about eating the perfect thing, because you’ll eat again soon anyway.
- Hanne Blank’s Big Big Love has an excellent chapter on setting boundaries with your family.
- Use the Fatosphere to bolster your body-positivity before and after stressful family events. Here are some places to start:
Also see the links to introductory fat acceptance resources on our website!
- Perhaps nothing is more crucial than self-care before and after stressful events (whether or not they are family-related and/or involve body-shaming)! Here’s a list of self-care resources we compiled:
Meditation podcasts at www.easeandjoy.com
The Woman’s Comfort Book by Jennifer Louden
If you have a resource to suggest for one of these lists, feel free to email it to us at metrofats [at] gmail.com. We wish happy holidays to those who celebrate and look forward to seeing everyone in 2012!
I can personally testify that texting/emailing/calling an FA friend out of range of your family and going to the bathroom work well. These things and liberal applications of booze got me through Thanksgiving with my family and their constant near-compulsive dieting talk. Oh, yeah, and the fact that my mom is obsessed with the Biggest Loser and considers it a truly inspirational TV program.
Oh, and why does this have a “Christmas” tag? There’s more than one holiday in November/December and people of other religions (including none at all) aren’t magically exempt from fat shaming and diet culture in their family gatherings and holiday celebrations/observances, either. Plus, this is applicable during any holiday, including secular ones like Independence Day (or whatever national-themed holiday you have in your part of the world) or Labor Day or New Year’s (which ever ones you celebrate).
So this morning I see that professional fat-hater Jamie Oliver has posted a petition which he’s asking people to sign in support of his “Food Revolution,” and in which he’s included the bullshit stat that “obesity in the US costs $10,273,973 per hour” (sure) and notes, in all-caps, “OBESITY IS PREVENTABLE.”
Celebrities who have signed the petition are posted in rotation: Jennifer Aniston, Eva Longoria, P. Diddy, Kim Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest, Ellen Degeneres.
It’s always nice to see wealthy people with access to the best food, comprehensive healthcare, personal trainers, private chefs, and individual nutritional plans put their names to a petition admonishing the fatties that OBESITY IS PREVENTABLE.
When there are people for whom that is not true, people for whom obesity is not preventable, for myriad reasons, to bray about how their bodies (our bodies; ourselves) are “preventable” is to engage in eliminationist rhetoric.
I will never not be fat.
Can fat people be healthy? A provocative new study shows that obese people who are otherwise healthy live just as long as their slim counterparts.
And that wasn’t the only surprising finding. The study also showed otherwise healthy obese people are even less likely than lean people to die of cardiovascular disease.
“Our findings challenge the idea that all obese individuals need to lose weight,” study author Dr. Jennifer L. Kuk, assistant professor at York University School of Kinesiology & Health Science, said in a written statement. “Moreover, it’s possible that trying - and failing - to lose weight may be more detrimental than simply staying at an elevated body weight and engaging in a healthy lifestyle that includes physical activity and a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables.”