[Image: Four photos from a photoshoot in a city environment of a magnificent fat Black woman wearing an off the shoulder, 3/4th sleeve red dress with a very thin gold belt around the waist and black pointed toe high heels with gold accessories.]
Devil in a red dress, she’s a killa.
[Image: A black and white photo of several very fat women dressed in cold weather gear doing side bend calisthenics.]
Photo: credit unknown
[Image: Eight sets of before and after photos showing a white woman with dark hair posing in thrift store dresses that are too large next to photos of her wearing the modified, re-worked versions of these dresses.]
I found this great blog today and had to share it :D
Refashionista is an amazing seamstress who refashions awful thrift-store finds into new clothes and some of these results are so amazing?? Check her out! :D
she is a goddess
Whereas I look at this picture set, and I see someone mocking clothes made for women fatter than she is — in a good half of these cases, the “awfulness” of these “awful thrift-store finds” is simply that they were designed for fat women — and then being jubilant when she’s resized them for herself. In many cases, she’s not even changing the styling, she’s just resizing them, sometimes re-dyeing them, and adding a belt.
As a fat woman who has trouble finding clothes in thrift shops, I resent both the fat-shaming in her “before” photos (they invoke “look how ridiculously fat I was!” before/after weight-loss photosets), and the fact that she’s making it materially harder for fat women to find clothes in their sizes.
I don’t see these as fat shaming because I didn’t read the before shots as ‘awful’; they are clothes that don’t fit her, but a lot of the tutorials on her site are really applicable to both thrift store clothes and awful mall clothes that are ill-fitting for -anyone- and/or shoddily made; they address many of the problems in plus-size fashion as discussed and derided on blogs like http://wtfplus.tumblr.com/ (see the bingo card: http://wtfplus.tumblr.com/post/49309431026/the-completed-plus-size-clothing-bingo-card)
I read a lot of fat shaming into it.
She accentuates the width of the dresses IN EVERY SINGLE PHOTO. She literally wants to make sure we know how much wider that dress is than her body. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. She is pulling on the sides of some of these dresses so that we will KNOW HOW WIDE/BIG THEY ARE.
There’s no emphasis really on other things that might be undesirable about these dresses: length, color, pattern, type of waist, etc. No. JUST THE WIDTH. And the faces she makes in the “before” photos versus the after. She’s either silly in a derisive way or in that last one actively trying to put on an unhappy, miserable face. And in the after photos, she’s posed in a way meant to show off and she’s smiling and happy.
This is why I actively avoid thinking, talking, or caring about clothes and fashion beyond what it takes to not be naked and not have people stare at me in public. Because there’s no fucking point. Anything that fits my body will be deemed inferior. So why bother?
fat person walks in the room and all of a sudden every skinny motherfucker within a 5-mile radius is a doctor, therapist, nutritionist, and personal trainer with something to say
[Image: A screencap of an anonymous submission that reads: “You are in so much denial that it is sad. Seriously, I looked at your pictures. You should accept that your weight is affecting your health. Weather you want to do anything about it or not is obviously up it you. i don’t think it’s morally wrong to choose to be fat, but I know think it is morally wrong to tell other people that it is safe to be fat. I think you know deep down that it’s hurting you. I’m sure you feel it when you sit down on the floor and have to get yourself up again. Or try to run for a long period of time. Or when you’re walking by a group a group of people and realize you’re moving much, much slower. Try being aware of those moments and just consider doing something about your weight before you’re middle aged and have to deal with the damage you’ve done. And maybe weigh yourself. Do you even know what you weigh anymore? Even though it seems like it on tumblr, in reality the majority of people do not and will never see your body as healthy because it isn’t. (oh and I’m using anon because I don’t have a tumblr account. If I did I’d say the exact same things off anon.)
Look at this. Look at what was put in my inbox today.
This is what happens when fat people love themselves. This is what happens when we refuse to accept that our bodies are abhorrent. We are told that we’re in denial. That we’re dangerous to other people (because saying “hey,fatness isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you” is dangerous).
But this message is especially heinous to me. Because it makes the assumption that I am not aware of my body every single second of every single day. It is absolutely impossible as a person in a non-normative body to not be hyper aware of that body. Even someone like me, who is very comfortable and is very good at brushing off fatphobic bullshit is incredibly aware of the fact that the majority of society thinks my body is disgusting.
I am aware of my body. I am aware of the way it is different than other bodies. I am aware of the ways that my body makes my experiences different than others. I know that my body works differently than other bodies. I am more aware of this than you could possibly ever imagine. Society does not let us forget that we are fat, ever.
But here’s the thing: I’m not the one who is bothered by this. I’m not the one who is upset and miserable because my body looks and works differently than other bodies. You are. You are the one who is angry because my body is different. And you’re even more angry that I refuse to be ashamed the way you think I should.
Concern trolling like this is not only hateful but it’s completely counterproductive. It doesn’t encourage anyone to do anything. You don’t care about me. You’re not concerned about my health. When’s the last time you went out of your way on anon to tell some pothead or alcoholic or bulimic on tumblr that they needed to change their life? You haven’t. You never fucking have. All of you people who think you’re fat people’s doctors only ever try to police fat people because you unthinkingly believe every single bullshit stereotype about fatness that you’ve ever been taught. Because you’re a piece of shit and you don’t view fat people as humans.
Look at you. Look at what you are doing. You are going into a complete stranger’s inbox and trying to make them feel unhappy and disgusted with their own body. You see my happiness and flippancy towards fatphobia and you cannot stand it to the point that you took the time out of your day to try and make me see how unhealthy and disgusting I am.
Look at you. Look how horribly unhappy you are with yourself. Don’t project your self-hatred onto me.
remember, when people tell you it’s wrong for fat people to love their bodies, that’s a problem that they need to deal with in themselves, not you. no matter how well-crafted their ‘concern’ is.
Imagine if people treated smokers or casual drinkers like they do fat people. It’s fucking unheard of.
Um people fucking treat smokers like fucking shit.
Lets not forget the millions that obesity costd the state and medical system.
Being obese is extremely unhealthy that is a proven fact and denying that is stupid
[Image: a black and white gif showing Chris Tucker a Black man playing the role of Smokey in Friday looking annoyed and waving as to send someone away.]
1. Perfect reaction gif is perfect
2. Does anyone else here feel like they’re reading the words of a practiced sadist in the anonymous submission above? It reads like every whispering, vicious monologue a villain in a movie ever gave a protagonist to make them give up on something life saving/life affirming.
It feels like the abuse doled out to me. I’m flashing back to being a child and being somewhere I can’t get out of and being picked apart by an adult who feels completely justified. I’m flashing back to knowing there’s nothing I can do to placate them, that they will hurt me until they’ve had their fill.
This anonymous person is being abusive and this is why this ask is abusive:
- It thrusts unfair responsibility for others or for being a representative to/of others on a single person.
- It pretends to respect someone’s “choice” while invading space and making communications specifically to speak against that “choice” and cause guilt for it. Make no mistake, this is a clear warning: “Don’t make this choice again”.
- It selects small, arbitrary things and gives them meaning, significance and context they do not have in reality.
- It sets the value of someone’s life based on arbitrary criteria.
- It tells the recipient “try being aware of those moments” in an attempt to manipulate them later down the road by planting emotional land mines so that a moment of self-doubt (natural at any weight) becomes an explosion of self-hate.
- It gives the recipient hidden ultimatums. Be able to do certain things or be devalued.
- It plays up the so called “consequences” and inflates them so that they sound like the worst possible outcome.
- It demands the recipient answer to the author for personal choices and personal matters, with the understanding that the recipient is not entitled to boundaries.
- It acts as if it knows, authoritatively, what the recipient knows, feels, does, and thinks.
- It insidiously tries to cut the recipient off from any support or encouragement by saying that anyone who gives the recipient love or support a liar or themselves defective.
Make no mistake, this is written by someone who is very good at hurting other people and enjoying it. This is written by an evil, creepy sadist who uses fat as an excuse, but in the end just likes causing pain. This is just someone who gets off on other people suffering and wants to have a hate-gasm.
This is why it is so vital for us as fat people (or as any group that get this kind of socially-backed sadism) to support each other and push back. We need to expose them and we need to take the joy out of their hate-gasms. They need to be rendered as powerless as they want us to feel.
So, let me get this straight. You can design fifteen distinct characters for your space based superhero team and it never dawns on you that they’re all thin? Even the aliens are thin.
You’ll put space toads in there before you have even ONE fat human with superpowers in the future? Really?
How is it that all these superhero teams are almost to a one made of all thin people. Really? I’m not just talking about space. I’m talking about modern day ones set in NYC or a reasonable facsimile thereof (they all are) where apparently even amongst the “obesity epidemic” all the superpowered people are thin. You’d pretty have to be willing to say “fat makes you immune to having super powers” for that to statistically work out so that you justifiably had an all thin team.
Oh and don’t come to me with: “But aren’t you happy? They drew the women realistically in this one!”
Asshole, no they didn’t. If all your women are thin, you are not drawing them realistically. Smaller busts and less ridiculous costuming doesn’t equal a fair representation of the diversity of women and their bodies.
You’re still doing the same thing as the guys who draw bubble boobies and bikini armor: stating that women only look like that. Or that women worth having as characters only look like that.
And my big fat patience ran out a long time ago. So take your cookie cutter, unimaginative Thin Fest and just go.
[Series of texts by @fatnutritionist, which read: “People are mad at me because they ‘work so hard’ to be fit or lose weight. They have told me this explicitly. It implies that they think my rejecting the values they subscribe to can somehow take away the fitness they’ve worked for. That is totally delusional. If you’ve worked hard for fitness, no amount of fat people rejecting stigma can take that away. So this is obviously not actually about fitness, at all. It’s about the other thing they ‘worked hard’ for: social status. They DO think, and they know, that the social status they have worked hard to earn, through ‘fitness,’ can be devalued. It can be devalued if the hierarchy that rewards them is crushed. Crushed by people rejecting stigma. We can’t take away your fitness or whatever weight you’ve lost. But we can devalue those things by destroying fat stigma. So they are afraid of us, and for good reason. If fat people aren’t stigmatized, then there is no more thin privilege. Remember always, fat people: People are afraid of you because you have an awesome power - to destroy the hierarchy. If they were not afraid of losing their place in the hierarchy, they would not come after you so viciously.” All tweets were accompanied by the hashtag, #notyourgoodfatty]
Hmm. But this only counts with fat yt women, yeah? Not devaluing the posts or the sentiment or the truth behind it. Just that, it’s a shaded truth. It doesn’t touch fat Asian women, fat Latinas and definitely not fat Black women. And I’m not sure where men fit in here - cause that’s not my direct issue for observation.
Still though, yeah. Make your voice heard = getting crushed.
You’re absolutely right.
I got caught up on one sentiment and forgot to examine this deeper because it quite obvious to see. You’re right. Things definitely do not work this way outside a very oppressive sphere of whiteness.
And the FA/fat positivity/fat activism definitely has to make sure we’re not centering white fat people at the expense of all others, especially fat WoC as you said. If the movement is doing anything that hurts fat people, even if it’s on other axises than weight, then what’s the point of us? The point is always to make hurting stop for fat people.
Definitely should have examined this much further before reblogging. Sorry about that, I will not be making this mistake in the future with fat activism posts.
[Image: A gif set of four frames in a larger square showing a fantastic, gorgeous Black woman wearing a pink top and silver necklace speaking and gesturing and laughing. The captions read: Gaining weight is…the least of your worries. The world’s really shitty. And if that’s the shittiest thing that’s happened to you, you’re living a good life. Girl code. Motherfucker.”]
WHO IS THIS PARAGON OF PERFECTION? I MUST KNOW THIS PERSON’S NAME SO I MAY PROPERLY SING A SONG THAT MY PEOPLE CALLED “LOOK AT THIS IMPECCABLE FUCKING HUMAN BEING”
Oh, I wondered when I’d start getting the fat hate responses for my Sherlock post. So far it’s just the one douchecanoe, and maybe it’ll stay that way.
But seriously? The best this fucker could do was “get off your ass and go to a gym, fatty?” I’m seriously checking to make sure this person isn’t in fifth fucking grade over here. Really? Come on. I heard that shit way back when I was a kid. Worst. Attempted. Insult. Ever.
Not for nothing, but I have had so much more horrible, vicious fat haters come after me. I’ve been assaulted. This fucker just doesn’t even rise to the level of “get mad”. I’m just sort of laughing.
Because the advice this fucker is giving is basically: “become anorexic, continue to act that way until I decide you’re thin enough to be a person, which by the way will be never”.
These assholes will never actually give you the “now you’re a real person!” prize, ever. There will never be a time when they don’t hate you. Your weight doesn’t even really matter. Your health doesn’t matter. Your amount of time working out and calories consumed don’t matter.
You can be at the gym 24/7. You can eat nothing. You can starve and strain and whatever you like. You can waste away. You can deprive and overwork yourself until it becomes a threat to your life.
And they’re still not gonna give you that prize. Because they really don’t even give a shit about your weight in the end. They picked this particular topic because it was EASY, because it’s low hanging fruit, because it doesn’t take much effort in a fat-hating society to hate fat people and feel like you’re a winner for doing so.
These fuckers? They’re selective sociopaths. They lack the ability to find any enjoyment in something that doesn’t hurt another person. They literally HAVE to cause pain. They have to spend hours doing shit that they do, trolling comments and blogs and setting up their own blogs with big graphics of pigs and other things. They have to do that because they can’t enjoy anything else. Because their asses are incapable of stepping away from the hate on the internet and going to a gym to get it out of THEIR system. Because they can’t build model airplanes or read a book or play a game or learn how to paint or anything. Nope. They gotta spend all their time on getting their hate fix.
You gotta almost feel sorry for them. I mean, geez. I can enjoy so many things. Drawing, painting, writing, going on hikes with my spouse and dog, swimming, touring botanical gardens and garden in general, working with my dog on training, writing in a journal, cruising the internet for gifs and sweet justice. And it’s fun and I enjoy life. And I don’t need to hurt other people. In fact, it’s best when I do the opposite and cause people joy and happiness with what I do. I love doing that.
But these people lack that capacity.
And notice how they never give you practical tips. It’s always “go to the gym, fat ass!” or “stop eating cheeseburgers, fatty!” By the by, it’s always cheeseburgers and pizza. Never filet mignon or lobster or gruyere cheese or caviar. Never food that’s associated with higher classes. Always lower class, easy to obtain food that’s affordable for those with little money.
Could it be…*duhn duhn*…
SATAN??? CLASSISM? *church lady glare*
(With no small amount of racism to be found entangled in the whole thing as well).
ANYway, they never then go on to list all the things a the gym you can do or alternate exercises if gym isn’t feasible for you. They never go on to list other foods that might be more nutritious and how to obtain them easily and at the lowest price. Never. Not once.
It’s always just a vaguely worded demand that you do SOMETHING.
I find that funny, them just reaching for the most convenient, trite bit of bile they can find. Fuckheaded and funny.
So, anyway. I’m going to continue to be fat as in fantastic and obese as in oh my god, I’m fucking amazing. Continue to be angry. Enjoy that feigned hate and anger, it’s all you really have. Because you sure as shit don’t have a conscience or a sense of empathy.
Just thought I’d post to say to my fellow fatties that it really is THEM, not YOU. You are not and never will be the problem. Your weight, your body, your fatness, your size will never be at fault, will never be to blame. There is no amount of adipose tissue that entitles anyone to hurt you, abuse you, oppress you, exclude you, or erase you. At any fucking weight you are, you deserve better. The best, even. No number on a scale can diminish your humanity. Your weight is not an insult. Ever.
And if you need someone to come to because it’s not always so easy to laugh off the hate, the inbox is open.
[Images: Four pictures showing Gloria Shuri Nava, a gorgeous fat woman with light brown skin and her boyfriend, a thin white man. In the first picture they are side by side, his arm around her, smiling, inside and she is holding a drink. In the second, they are posing side by side, his arm around her, as he holds the camera out and they are outside in a city, in the third they are side by side smiling in front of background of a picture of a city landscape and white decorative lights. In the last picture they are facing each other, about to kiss, in front of a body of water as the sun goes down.]
From I’m Overweight and My Boyfriend’s Not. Big Freaking Deal, by Gloria Shuri Nava
and a follow-up by her boyfriend, to the fat-hating trolls who immediately swarmed the comments…
My Girlfriend Weighs More Than Me. So What? by Ali Lawrie
Good stories. Very kind of them to share. Go read! :)
The day I’ll know fat hate is over is the day when a bunch of people go up to Gloria Shuri Nava, see a fabulous fat brown woman and see him, and go, “Wow, aren’t you doing him a favor! How’d he ever get so lucky to get you to go out with him?”
She’s frickin’ gorgeous, people. He ain’t bad either, but she’s amazing.
Plot twist: A fat protagonist has a compelling arc and stays fat the whole time, because using weightloss to signify personal growth is fucked up and also lazy writing.
Second plot twist: Compelling arc for fat person involves a romance. Sexual and romantic interactions aren’t about weight and romantic interest is not a chubby chaser or loving fat person “in spite of their weight”. Romantic interest simply is interested because they think fat protagonist is beautiful, smart, funny, brave, awesome, etc. Sexual/romantic interactions between them are not a source of low brow comedy or commentary and do not differ in tone from those between thin people. Also, romantic interest is not given cookies or rewards or told they are brave or especially good hearted to be in love with a fat person.
[Image: Four beautiful, fat, very light skinned femmes smiling, standing in a semi-circle wearing nothing but stocking and heels, looking fabulous and amazing in the nude.]
Photo Credit: Katiesoze photography