I’m this close to making a Shit People Say to Fat Girls. Seriously.
With such classics as:
"You know, I just heard about this great new diet on TV"
"That’s so slenderizing on you!"
"That’s not really that flattering on you."
"Hey, have you tried the South Beach Diet?"
"Hey have you tried the Adkins Diet?"
"Have you tried the Grapefruit Diet?"
"It’s just not healthy to be so big. I’m concerned about your health."
"Do you want to die? You’re killing yourself with food!"
"You should eat to live not live to eat!"
"Oh, I know, it’s so hard to find the right sizes. I went to Abercrombie and Fitch and they totally only had one size four shirt in the color I wanted. Can you believe that?"
"You should wear Spanx, they’ll make you look ten pounds lighter!"
"Should you be eating that? It has soooo many calories."
"You know, I heard if you just walk thirty extra minutes a day then you can lose twenty pounds a month!"
"I know there’s a thin person inside you waiting to get out!"
"Do you really need that?"
"And here’s your drinks. I got you diet coke.”
"What if you just stop drinking soda?"
"We should totally go on a diet together, then we can be buddies!"
"It’s like you’re carrying around a fifty pound backpack all the time."
"But you’ll get diabetes!"
"You’re probably already diabetic and you don’t know it."
"But, why should MY money have to go to pay for fat people’s bad choices. Maybe if they hadn’t eaten so much and exercised more, they wouldn’t be sick."
"Oh god, shoot me if I ever get THAT big!"
"Oh god, she must feel so miserable being that big."
"Don’t worry, you’re not like one of those lazy fat people."
"Come on, you need the exercise!"
So this morning I see that professional fat-hater Jamie Oliver has posted a petition which he’s asking people to sign in support of his “Food Revolution,” and in which he’s included the bullshit stat that “obesity in the US costs $10,273,973 per hour” (sure) and notes, in all-caps, “OBESITY IS PREVENTABLE.”
Celebrities who have signed the petition are posted in rotation: Jennifer Aniston, Eva Longoria, P. Diddy, Kim Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest, Ellen Degeneres.
It’s always nice to see wealthy people with access to the best food, comprehensive healthcare, personal trainers, private chefs, and individual nutritional plans put their names to a petition admonishing the fatties that OBESITY IS PREVENTABLE.
When there are people for whom that is not true, people for whom obesity is not preventable, for myriad reasons, to bray about how their bodies (our bodies; ourselves) are “preventable” is to engage in eliminationist rhetoric.
I will never not be fat.