Madame Thursday

Jul. 27, 2012 at 11:03am with 381 notes

Reblogged from jhameia

[TW details of rape, rape culture—very strong TW] Reddit Post from a serial rapist who admits to having “raped several girls through use of coercion, alcohol, and other tactics over a course of 3 years”

LEAVING SOME TRIGGER WARNING SPACE FOR THOSE WHO MAY NEED TO SCROLL PAST REALLY FAST.

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING HERE!

turnofftherain:

stfurapeculture:

lemuffinmistress:

I’m posting this because this is a guy admitting to doing all of the things that we recognize as part of rape culture. He admits to having been a serial rapist during his college years, and using alcohol and his physical strength to overpower women.

He also says he took advantage of the fact that most girls thought he was a good guy, and thought he would stop if they just acted uncomfortable enough. He *knew* this, and took advantage of it to rape them.

Here’s his post:

This is probably not going to surface to the top being as I’m coming to this thread late in the game, but I am a young post-colleged age male who raped several girls through use of coercion, alcohol, and other tactics over a course of 3 years.
First off, I must say, I was at a strange place in my life. I’m ashamed of the person I was, if the people who I’m close to know knew who I was, I would be ruined. I’m known for being a great guy, friendly and easy to get along with, a community activist, a fervent volunteer in the community, and a person who rises through the ranks quickly due to successes at work. That was my mask, and I was good at it, so good that maybe I convinced myself along the line that was who I could really be, and that may of helped me change, and stop doing what I did.

I’m somewhat remorseful for what I did to those girls, but I don’t think I could ever face them to apologize. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I had this certain insatiable thirst that brought me to do what I did. I didn’t know how to stop, and just when I thought maybe I could, I’d find myself back in my pattern, back on the hunt.

I’m a good looking guy, and I can get girls pretty easily. I’m currently married to a beautiful woman that I met during this time of my life (not someone I raped, but someone who knew my mask during this time). So, anyways, after a while it became boring to go after the sluts and sorority girls that would easily throw their cunt after you. I wanted the thrill of the chase, and that’s what led me to forcing myself on girls. I would find attractive girls that were self-conscious about their looks. Girls who were pretty in their own unique way, but not the outgoing sort, mostly introverts, and girls that didn’t party or do wild things. Hopefully a girl who was a bit damaged, had a shitty ex-boyfriend, or family issues, came from a small shut in town, that sort of thing. So, when I showed interest in them they’d be completely enamored, they’d almost be shocked that a popular, good-looking, and well liked guy would be talking to them. I’d have that initial meeting at the library, a coffeeshop, a work function, or a party where I had them convinced of what a great guy I was. I listened to them, and made them feel special, like they were a princess. Sometimes we might sort of hook-up that night (kissing, making-out, never anything more). The next day I’d call, and see when they wanted to get together again. I’d feign some excuse for not going out somewhere, but having them come over late in the night. It was college, and not a lot of people had transportation off campus, so it was typical for people to come over and watch a movie or something on a date.

They would come over, and I’d always make sure it was real cold in the room, cold enough so that when we started watching the movie I’d say something about being chilly, and grab a big fleece blanket for the both of us. We’d get kind of close, and then maybe ignore the movie for some kissing. After a while, we’d talk some more, and I’d start edging my hands around the under strap of the bra, or maybe a bit into her pants, just kind of playing on the edge to gauge her response. Some girls would stiffen up a little, and that’s when you knew they didn’t like what was going on. We were in my studio apartment, so the bed served as the couch, and it was easy to start sliding down throughout the movie so we’d be laying down. It was then that I could turn around and get on top of her. The girls usually didn’t know how to respond. Some of them were into it, and those nights were usually consensual and boring sex, sometimes followed up by a few more nightly visits before getting the boot. However, the great nights were the ones who squirmed, ones who didn’t want to give in. I‘d have to shush them down, and try to work on them slowly enough so they didn’t know what was going on until it was pretty much already happening. I’m a muscular guy, over 6’ around 200 lbs. and most of these girls may have been 125-130, really tiny and easy to pin down. To be honest, even remembering it now, the squirming always made it better, they didn’t want it to happen, but they couldn’t do anything about it. Most girls don’t say no either. They think you’re a good guy, and should pick up on the hints, they don’t want to have to say “no” and admit to themselves what’s happening.

Alcohol helped. Having a few drinks during the movie, or doing a few jello shots that were “prepared for a party that weekend” would usually do the trick.

The aftermath was always different. Some girls left after about 15 minutes after. Some girls would stay until the morning and then leave. A few tried to call back, maybe blaming themselves for what happened or something. I never worried too much about being caught. Everyone knew me, and I worked with the police a lot, with administrators, and campus officials. I was on first name basis with the Chancellor and the President of Student Affairs, so if anything came down to a he/she-said I figured I’d be in the clear. Having her come over to my place also made it seem less predatory, as she came into my domain, and “could leave at any time”.

I guess that’s about it… If you have any questions about my life now or then, ask away.

Fucking disgusting.

I’m also really grossed out that he said he’s “somewhat remorseful for what he did”. Just somewhat.

Also he’s married now to a woman who doesn’t know about his rape-y past.

Original post found here.

EDIT: FUCK THIS ASSHOLE TO THE FIERY DEPTHS OF HELL

I’m still a shitbag, but I’m also still married. Probably for the better, to be honest if I hadn’t met my wife, I don’t know if I would have evolved, and made the change in my life to stop when I did.

It’s not a woman’s job to provide the catalysis for your fucking evolution.

This made me sick. And the comments. The fucking comments. Giving a serial rapist cookies because he ‘honestly’ (and anonymously where it can’t hurt him at all) talks about being a rapist and he claims to have reformed?

I hope his wife is safe. I don’t trust him to know what real consent looks like, or to seek it out from someone he’s married to.

I just…it pretty took all I had to read through this because I…I don’t have a lot of words. I have a lot of anger, and a heaping load of disgust and a really sick feeling in my stomach that I don’t think is going to go away for a long while.

The thing is? This guy is still a shitbag rapist predator and he’s a liar and a sociopath. This entire thing is so much bragging and posturing and posing to get off on revisiting how he VIOLATED AND RAPED women.

This man is a bad man. He’s not even “somewhat” remorseful. He’s not even 1% remorseful. He knows he has to say that or else too many people will get too angry, and even the rape apologists won’t have a lot of room to defend him. So that’s what he does. He admits to being remorseful.

Oh, and note how he uses the phrase “sluts and sorority girls who throw their cunts after you”. Yeah. See, his mask slipped for a moment and he let us see what he really thinks about women. Sluts. Cunts. Ways to satisfy himself and feel better about being a pathetic loser.

Because it’s not really about sex with this asshole. It’s about feeling better, it’s about using women for whatever need he has. He needs to feel powerful, he tricks, lies to, and rapes a woman. He needs to have a nice guy mask, he finds a wife. Women are objects to him. Make no mistake.

I fear for his wife and any daughters he may have and any women around him in general. I fear for the women who are his co-workers, I fear for the women who may find themselves at the same store or on a train or bus or parking lot as him. I fear for any friends who are women, any friends-of-friends who are women who might have the bad luck of being a Christmas or New Years party with this evil pathetic loser.

He’s not too afraid to face his victims. He’s too afraid of losing his nice guy mask, as he puts it. He’s afraid of being unable to fall back on being a rapist when he gets bored or tired or just wants to feel powerful. He hasn’t changed a fucking bit. He’s afraid of getting named. Because that nice guy mask is still there for him. He’s safe and anonymous. His cozy little world, his sense of safety can’t get ripped away.

He will rape again. It’s not if, it’s when. This is what a serial fucking rapist looks like. He’s a nice, clean cut, college educated white man with a nice guy face. And he’s thinking all the while about the women around him and what use he has for them as objects - as cunts and sluts and whatever else he wants.

You know, this is why sometimes I just want to start taking a sledgehammer to some people’s faces.

This is why any time anybody wants to impugn the right of any woman anywhere to fucking say “no”, to dismiss men’s attention from verbal harassment to out and out and assault, to get angry when men don’t BACK THE FUCK OFF when told no, both verbally and with unmistakeable cues, I get fucking outraged and I say something.

Because it’s that kind of impugning that lets this evil motherfucker operate.

Go die, rapist scum. I hope you get exposed. I hope someone manages to find you out, posts your name and your history and everything else all over everywhere, gets you fired, costs you your marriage, and then gets you put out on the street with the trash where you belong so that you can crawl into a hole in the sewer and die, you piece of shit. You deserve nothing but bad things for the rest of your life.