40 Notes

Flippantly using the word stalk angers me to no end.

cupcakesnotbombs:

darkcloudtherainbowwarrior:

tierracita:

Trigger warning: Stalking, rape culture

“Sorry for stalking your blog,” “find out how many people stalk your profile,” “I’ve been stalking so and so for awhile before following them” “I am such an uber stalker for ____” “She totally stalked me from the bedroom to the bathroom, damn cat” and other flippant (mis)uses of the word/term stalk drive me up the wall and make my skin crawl.

I lost it just now when this came on my dash twice. 

I’ve been stalked, actually goddamn stalked. I don’t want to go into it because I shouldn’t have to for people to recognize how invalidating it is to talk about stalking so lightly or inappropriately. But I will say that for the past 10 years I’ve lived with the residual aftermath of feeling my privacy and safety violated. I don’t talk about this with anyone often but that doesn’t mean the impact on my life isn’t there. 

To me, saying you “stalked” something is in the same category as to say “rape” to mean owned or conquered. This flippant disregard for experiences and trauma related to these words is totally linked to the patriarchal way we devalue/silence/etc experiences that predominantly impact women. Yes, anyone can stalk and can be stalked, same for rape, but these are still predominantly violent acts directed at women. It’s all a part of rape culture, whether it’s saying “I totally raped that game” or if you “stalk him home.”

Here are two sites that break down what, who, how, why, and how many in relation to stalking.

I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never said stalk either or that it never comes to mind as an option. But I will say I work hard not say stalk. Working against rape culture is hard! So please try and find/use another word to say what you mean because enacting rape culture like this is hella triggering and the last thing I need is some ridiculous greeting card ruining my day!

I’m definitely guilty of saying this. I’m going to work hard to not use it from now on. Now to find an alternative word or phrase, because what I’ve found so far are not really appropriate either.

friendly reminder: stalking is an actual thing. it’s not looking at 6 of your facebook friend’s photos. it’s not a joke. it’s not a way to metaphorize an pronounced interest in someone. stalking actually happens, to actual people, and it’s actually really fucking scary. just fyi.

3 months ago
  1. peayeahknow reblogged this from theoceanandthesky
  2. impromptuonedykedanceparty reblogged this from nerdbyrd
  3. vampirefruitfly reblogged this from madamethursday and added:
    Something to think about for sure.
  4. nerdbyrd reblogged this from cupcakesnotbombs
  5. tierracita reblogged this from crashntumble and added:
    I think that’s the case for most people, it’s just so colloquial that it’s hard to reconceptualize how...
  6. crashntumble reblogged this from tierracita and added:
    Despite having a brief...non violent incident with a...using...
  7. green-street-politics reblogged this from journalmoore and added:
    I have been stalked by people before, and honestly the scariest was the one who, in his first words to me, offered to...
  8. journalmoore reblogged this from cupcakesnotbombs
  9. theoceanandthesky reblogged this from madamethursday
  10. madamethursday reblogged this from cupcakesnotbombs
  11. cupcakesnotbombs reblogged this from zipibree and added:
    friendly reminder: stalking is an actual thing. it’s not looking at 6 of your facebook friend’s photos. it’s not a joke....
  12. soymmmilk reblogged this from zipibree
  13. hiphopcheerleader reblogged this from zipibree
  14. zipibree reblogged this from darkcloudtherainbowwarrior
  15. fullyanimatedlifetree reblogged this from barefootrunaway and added:
    Yes, this is important. When I hear people say this, I think “this person doesn’t understand what this word actually...
  16. dulce-sonrisas reblogged this from darkcloudtherainbowwarrior
  17. barefootrunaway reblogged this from darkcloudtherainbowwarrior and added:
    Ah, this is important.
  18. elytra said: I absolutely agree Cory. Sorry you had to put up with that. Last year 2 students in a WGS class I was in used that word flippantly and I was blown away that they didn’t know better!
  19. darkcloudtherainbowwarrior reblogged this from tierracita and added:
    I’m definitely guilty...use it from now on. Now...find an...
  20. tierracita posted this