14 Notes

glossylalia:

I will never understand how husband/wife relationships transpire on cop shows.

I’m watching some old Criminal Minds, where Hotch is going through all this to-do with his wife. And I’m just like “bro, he’s a COP, I mean he was a cop before, he’s been a cop this whole time, just because he loves you and he loves his son doesn’t mean he’s just going to stop being a cop, it’s not that kind of job”. IDK, I know there has to be some kind of drama, but I also think there are other ways to cultivate that drama other than “you travel too much and it’s a bummer”. IDK, I never disliked his wife, and I love the relationship he has with his son, but it just seems odd.

I understand your complaint, and it would be nice to see a couple that deals in a more mature, less drama-y way with one or both spouses have time consuming careers like cop, doctor, etc. 

But I get a little twitchy with the idea that if the spouse of the cop (or whatever) complains that they’re in the wrong because “they knew they were a (insert job)”. Yeah, they knew. But there are also plenty of cops, doctors, lawyers, etc who balance work and life just fine. I don’t think a spouse/partner/family member is out of bounds to ask that if they’re going to make adjustments to allow for that person’s job that the person reciprocates by keeping on top of things like working hours and travel and making sure they’re doing all they can to keep a balance going.  

Hotch was doing shit like forgetting to be at the hospital for his son during a medical procedure that was scary for the kid when he obviously had the ability to take half a day off to do that and had PROMISED to do so. There was no excuse for that, okay? 

Imagine how Haley must have felt, alone at the hospital and trying to comfort her son who kept asking where his daddy was. Knowing that your spouse is going to work a difficult job doesn’t mean knowing your spouse is basically going to forget about you and your kid. 

Plus, I think there were plenty of other adjustments Hotch could’ve made in the way he operated - like delegating more responsibility. We’ve seen the BAU work cases where they split up, so obviously it’s possible for them to work cases without Hotch micromanaging. Indeed, in a lot of cases it seems like Hotch is really just there to coordinate things and assign people tasks and while you do need that sometimes, there are plenty of cases where he’s sort of irrelevant and it’s Morgan, Prentiss, Reid, and others doing a lot of the “I have to be here” type work. 

In this case, it wasn’t just about Hotch’s being an FBI agent. It was about him having a chance to take a different position within the FBI (white collar crimes) that would’ve had him home by 5pm and involved way less travel and generally been something that would’ve given him a lot more family time. 

I’ll grant you that the show didn’t deal well with this and that plenty of other shows manufacture drama with this in a way that’s ridiculous and makes those spouses (mainly women) look whiny and needy when they’re not, but this case wasn’t really one of them. 

3 months ago
  1. criminalmeta reblogged this from madamethursday
  2. madamethursday reblogged this from glossylalia and added:
    your complaint, and it would be nice to see a couple that deals in a more mature, less drama-y way
  3. witchsistah reblogged this from glossylalia and added:
    movie relationships do NOT work how real life ones do.
  4. alexandrahamilton said: I’m less generous than you, I just hated Haley.
  5. lifeunfolding said: I really hated that Criminal Minds started trying to make me care about the BAU’s personal lives. Can they just stick to the serial killers, please?
  6. scarlet-irene said: oh hey I think I’m watching those episodes for the first time right now ha ha ha
  7. michelle-my-belle said: the same thing happened on law and order: svu. it even happened on grey’s anatomy with bailey and her ex. you knew that was their job when you met them. why are shocked that they have to work? the fuck is wrong with you?
  8. glossylalia posted this