973 Notes

justjasper:

i want a tampon box with a motherfucking shark on it

I was just discussing yesterday how I long for pirate, dinosaur, and/or camo themed tampons and other hygiene products. I’m tired of this bright pink, soft blue, or “feminine”-yellow colored crap. 

I’m fucking SHEDDING THE LINING OF MY UTERUS. Something that, actually, is really rather important to how our ENTIRE SPECIES has evolved, developed, and adapted to become dominant on this planet. 

I want some recognition of the fact that it’s kind of badass, okay? I want pirates with peg legs and muskets and skull-and-crossbones on that fucker. I want a screaming pterodactyl descending with massive clawed talons extended to do battle with a motherfucking T-Rex with the kind of expression that tells you that it’s the primordial ancestor of the honey badger because pterodactyl don’t give a shit and hasn’t since the Triassic, y’all. 

Oh, and btw, when we’re advertising for this stuff? Can we stop with this “our product helps you hide your delicate lady business from the eyes of other people” bullshit. I want a product that shows me that these hygiene things can stand up during an epic firefight with brain eating zombies and face sucking aliens. I want guns and bullets and something to blow up like somebody just invited the Mythbusters on set.  I want a commercial with three or four badass folks-that-menstruate (including the non-cis woman menstruators in there!) as secret agents and doing kicks and flips to prove to me that these products can handle what I go through as a uterus-bearer.

Want me to buy this stuff? Prove I can use it during an epic demon apocalypse without my underwear getting marked by Zorro (if you know what I mean).

Can we do that? Is it too much to ask for something like that? Just no more flowers, for the love of endometriums everywhere, okay?

7 months ago
  1. leftturnatalbuquerque reblogged this from berchina and added:
    “feminine”-yellow…
  2. omnivorousstegosaurus reblogged this from lord-kitschener
  3. wwwwppl reblogged this from uswhoresdontneedyou and added:
    “feminine”-yellow…
  4. shuvva reblogged this from madamethursday
  5. misllantos reblogged this from madamethursday
  6. clivewarren reblogged this from dazebras
  7. dazebras reblogged this from madamethursday
  8. spaceshipsincamelot reblogged this from madamethursday
  9. calerine reblogged this from madamethursday
  10. manthehatches reblogged this from madamethursday
  11. cockblockingrobot reblogged this from madamethursday and added:
    Can we ask Joss Whedon what kind Buffy used? She never took a week off during that time of the month!
  12. deadlyprospitarianpeanuts reblogged this from madamethursday
  13. eemajinx reblogged this from ellewoodsinthetardis
  14. tokibblesandbits reblogged this from justnodandsmile
  15. justnodandsmile reblogged this from evilbabycrocodile
  16. viraemia reblogged this from thevaleofarryn
  17. skiptracer reblogged this from themanliestmoustache
  18. wornbytheweatherandthewaves reblogged this from themanliestmoustache
  19. themanliestmoustache reblogged this from pixelatedrainbowpuke
  20. pixelatedrainbowpuke reblogged this from zeke-dunbar
  21. zeke-dunbar reblogged this from madamethursday
  22. xyrophile reblogged this from inherhipstheresrevolutions and added:
    I’m… This would make...period even better.
  23. julietsbb reblogged this from arineat and added:
    Yes, that would indeed be awesome, but mostly reblogging for the I want a screaming pterodactyl descending with massive...
  24. diraesymone reblogged this from madamethursday
  25. sbfyfe reblogged this from itsastory and added:
    This is probably the best thing I’ve ever read, hah
  26. romantic-chasm reblogged this from genuinelycornflakes
  27. valkyrien reblogged this from madamethursday and added:
    THE… Sounds like a legitimate marketing proposal...would not only provide a refreshing,...